I've Always Loved You
by Dreaming-out-loud-10
Summary: Edward and Bella call it quits after 2 years. Bella is still heartbroken and in love with Edward. She goes to Charlie for support but also interacts with an old friend. Will she put her heart on her sleeve for him?or leave without a look back?
1. Chapter 1

**IM A BIG TWILIGHT fan and this is my first fanfic ever but I hope you like it!**

**I'll post the next chapter in a few days or so.**

**and PLEASE REVIEW! some constructive criticism would be nice :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything Twilight. Just a fan of the amazing series.**

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_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Was it morning already?

I groaned and shifted in my bed to look at the clock on my desk.

_6:30 am._

Ugh, why did my classes have to be right in the morning? I unwillingly got out of bed, turned off the continuous beeping, and went straight to the washroom and splashed cold water on my face. I looked up only to see my very ordinary, plain face in the mirror.

_No wonder he dumped me,_ I thought to myself.

I went to turn on the shower, stripped myself from my pajamas, and hopped in, almost falling on my head in the process.

The hot water felt so good on my bare skin, almost as if it washed away all my stress and worries. When I was done showering I put on a dark pair of skinny jeans and a blue long sleeve shirt. After that I blow dried my hair, grabbed my laptop that I received as a gift from Charlie last year, stuffed it into my bag, put my shoes on and I was out the door.

I was in my second year of college and I was attending USF in San Francisco and studying business administration.

I stopped at Starbucks on my way, ordered a mocha, put it in my cup holder and sped down the highway. I was starting to run late and I didn't want to start off the year with a bad impression.

When I got to the university I parked my new Honda civic that I bought last year in one of the parking spaces closest to the western building. With only minutes to spare, I half ran with my bag in one hand and my mocha in the other. Luckily when I got to class the teacher wasn't there yet so I tried looking for a seat in the back. I didn't want to be anywhere near the front, where the teacher might ask me a question and humiliate myself in front of the entire class. I took my seat and tried to concentrate.

The class went by quick. I paid attention and I wrote down all my notes neatly. I was lucky that Mrs. Caruso never asked me anything. I tried to keep my head down as much as possible, grateful that Taylor Adeffro sat in front of me, that tallest guy I knew, well, except for… _Jacob_.

Whenever I thought about him I would get an overwhelming feeling of guilt. I haven't seen him or spoken to him in 2 years and I wasn't planning to anytime soon even though I always have an urge to go down to La push and visit him. But I couldn't. I couldn't go down there and tell him what happened with Edward. I couldn't tell him how my life went downhill the moment Edward left me. How the hole in my chest rips and burns every time I think of him, how I stay up many nights crying my eyes out over him.

Edwards had left me after our marriage saying that he wouldn't change me. And that's all. He just left. At first I was mad, no wait, not mad, outraged. He promised he would change me, he promised we would _try _but not even that he could give me. The only person who knew about our separation was Charlie and Renee.

"Mrs. Swan, would you like to add anything to the discussion?" Mrs. Carusso asked.

Damn. "Um, no" I said lamely.

"Next time stay focused Mrs. Swan"

I just nodded. I was grateful for the distraction to pull me away from my thoughts.

When I got back to my apartment I decided I should go study for a bit even though I didn't need to but I had nothing better to do since I didn't have any friends here. Since Edward left I haven't been social at all, not that I was very social to begin with. Many people would invite me to go out and have a drink but I always made an excuse not to. After a while they didn't even bother to ask anymore.

The next 4 days sped by so fast and before I knew it, it was Friday. Another boring, lonely Friday. When I thought I studied enough for the day I decided to call Charlie, tell him I would go visit him this long weekend, since I would probably go crazy if I stayed here and plus I haven't seen Charlie in a while after all. The phone rang 3 times before Charlie picked up.

"Hello?" answered Charlie.

"Hey dad, it's Bella"

"Oh hey! How are ya? He shouted

"Umm, I'm fine. How about you?" I asked.

"How am I?" he asked as if he didn't know the answer himself.

"Oh man! Oh man!" he started laughing so loud that I had to hold the phone away from my ear. He was definitely drunk.

"How am I?" he repeated. Couldn't he just answer the damn question?

"I'm greeaaat." He slurred.

"_Hey Charlie! Get off that damn phone and let's finish our game already!" _Shouted a husky voice from the background that I could recognize anywhere. I froze in place and the hole in my chest burned and ripped its way through me, but not because of Edward this time.

"_OKAY! OKAY! IM COMING GOD DAMIT!" _He shouted back.

I heard other voices chuckling in the background and speaking incoherently.

"Okay Bella, what do you want?"

I was still frozen. Tears welled up into my eyes and I couldn't breathe.

I noticed that everyone in the background went quiet when Charlie said my name. I

could only imagine Jacobs face. It was probably identical to mine. _Shocked, guilty, nervous._

"Bella? Are you still there" he asked, getting worried now.

"Uh…yeah, I, uhh, am coming over for the, uh, weekend."

I prayed that he wouldn't repeat it. I didn't want Jacob and whoever else was there to know I was coming to visit.

"YOU'RE COMING TO VISIT ME?"

Not only did he repeat it but he yelled it. This is why I never bought beer for Charlie when I lived with him.

"_Did you hear that Jacob? BELLAS COMING TO VISIT!"_

Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no. He did not just say that! How drunk was he? Even he knew that me and Jacob were on not so good terms. I decided to end this conversation before he said more and before I _heard _more.

"Um, well, okay Dad. I got to go."

"Okay Bella. See you soon!"

"Bye dad."

I hung up the phone and had to fight back the urge to call him back and tell him

that I had plans and that I couldn't go. _Stop being a coward! _I told myself.

Suddenly I was mad, no not mad, _outraged, _that I couldn't go visit my dad at my _HOUSE_ peacefully because someone called _Jacob black_ was there. "NO! NO, NO, NO! I yelled. "NO! I WILL NOT BE A COWARD!" I shrieked while also stomping my foot on the floor like a stubborn 5 year old having a fit. I heard someone chuckle behind me.

"Whoa calm down there, you made your point clear, you wont be a coward" he chuckled.

I recognized the Italian accent. It was Alberto, the owner of the apartment building. I turned around and found him grinning at me right outside my door.

I cursed myself internally for not closing the door, and then it hit me. _Oh my god. Please tell me he did not see that! _

My expression must have been horrible because he bursted with laughter and had to put his hand on the wall for balance. I never saw him laugh so hard.

Alberto is my age, 20, and I must admit he's pretty good looking. He has perfect brown curls that go past his ears, beautiful tan, high cheekbones, beautiful green eyes, and a dimple on his chin and an irresistible Italian accent that made women swoon. Maybe if I wasn't so heartbroken I could learn to be friends with him, but then again…

"You're… FACE!" He said between laughs while waving his hand in front of his face.

I stomped my way to the door and slammed it on his face. That made him laugh even harder.

"Awww c'mon Hun. Don't be like that" he said through the door.

"Yes, I will be like that." I hissed through my teeth.

"Well, I came here to ask you to pay up for the rent but then I heard you yell 'I WILL NOT BE A COWARD'" he said in a poor imitation of my voice. I heard him laugh uncontrollably at the memory. I didn't answer him.

"… Okay, since your not gonna open the door and pay me then I guess your gonna have to pack up and leave" he said, teasing me.

"UGHHH! FINE!" I yelled. I was never this moody. I went to my safe, grabbed the envelope with the rent money, and closed the safe with a bit too much force.

I opened the door, saw him grinning at me, and handed him the money.

"There. Now go."

"Wait, wait." He was really getting on my nerves.

"Are you doing anything tomorrow?"

"Um, no, why?"

"Do you want to go to dinner with me?" he asked, still grinning.

"No" I said simply.

"Aww, c'mon darling', why not?"

"Cuz you annoy the hell out of me and I need to pack"

"Pack?" he asked, cocking his head to the side.

"Yeah, I'm going to go visit my dad"

"Oh, right. He lives in Forks… Another time then" he chuckled.

"Ha!" I snorted. "In your dreams"

"You say that now but someday you will come back running to my arms, begging me to go out with you but don't expect me to be so generous"

"Okay. Leave before I do something ill regret"

"Your already gonna regret not going to dinne—"

I slammed the door in his face once again and finished packing. After that I crawled into bed, tried to go to sleep and not think at all.


	2. Chapter 2

Here is Chapter 2! Hope you enjoy it and remember...

REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or its characters.

... but i'd like to own Jacob ;)

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Before I knew it I was driving through Forks with my dad in the cab. We merely exchanged a few _hello's _and _how are you's _and _hows school_ and that was it. It reminded me the day I first moved to Forks.

I was still mad at him from before on the phone and he knew I was. He was sober enough now to realize what he had done. I didn't care that he was drunk at the time. I didn't care if he was stupid--

"_But you do care that Jacob heard" _said some smart ass part of my brain interrupting my thoughts.

"_Shut up!" _I hissed back.

Wow, I really was going crazy.

And there we were in front of the old red house. I looked at the front porch and remembered how Edward kissed me there and then looked at my window, where he climbed in from every night. The stupid hole in my chest flamed and burned through me again, making it hard to breathe.

Charlie silently stepped out of the car, and went to the trunk to get my suitcase while I got out of the car and walked to the porch. I tried not to think about where I was or about what had happened on this very porch with Edward so I decided not to think at all. Charlie came back with my suitcase, placed it on the floor, got the key out of his pocket and opened the door. He stepped inside first and went up the stairs, to my room, and I followed him up. He placed the suitcase in front of my bedroom door and turned around to look at me, blocking the door to my room.

"Look, Bells… I'm sorry about before…you know, on the phone"

Charlie knows about my problems with Jacob. He knows how Jacob loved me only 2 years a go, and how I gave him up for Edward.

"Its cool dad. I'm not mad" I said as convincingly as I could.

He cocked an eyebrow at me.

"No really. I mean it"

"Alright Bells…" he said slowly, not convinced.

"I tried cleaning your room up a bit"

"Thanks"

"No problem" he replied.

He was still blocking my door and he was looking at me as if he didn't understand why I didn't go in my room already.

"Um… dad, your kind of in my way" I said, pointing around him to the door.

"Oh. Right" He chuckled nervously and blushed before moving out of the way.

I bit my lip, hesitating, whether or not I should ask.

"Dad…?"

"Yeah?" he said as he turned around to look at me.

"How did Jake…react when he knew I was coming?" I said rushing the words.

Charlie looked surprised by my question but still answered.

"Well, right when I got off the phone with you, we were still in the middle of a poker game, but he just said he was busy and took off. Everyone else left too. Kinda sucks, it was turning out to be a great game…"

I didn't know how to answer so I just said "oh".

"Was there a reason that you asked?"

I didn't answer his question.

"Who were the other people?" I asked.

"Oh. Uhh, just Jacob's friends, you know those guys who he hangs out with on the rez"

My jaw dropped. Charlie noticed. "All of them?" my voice crept higher.

"Yep, I must say, what a great group of kids they are…"

I just stood there, not knowing how to answer. So the whole pack knew that I was here. But why did that bother me? Was it because they thought I was still with Edward? But why would that bother me…or them?

Charlie interrupted my thoughts and added "and before Jacob left he asked me if you sounded different…Didn't know why he asked but that boy has always been strange…" he trailed off.

Why would Jacob want to know if I sounded different? Before I could begin pondering over that Charlie began speaking again.

"You should go visit him though. Its been a while right? You guys used to be real good friends…"

"Huh" was all I was able to say.

"Well anyways, I'm gonna go watch the game alright?"

"Sure. Okay"

I was still thinking about what Charlie had said before…how Jacob asked if I sounded different…then it clicked. _Oh. Oh wow. No. what? How could he think_...I wondered to myself. He asked Charlie if I sounded different to check if I still sounded the same, if I still sounded…human. If I was a vampire, my voice would have sounded like bells. And the fact that I haven't seen Charlie since I moved out would also lead them to believe that. If they think I'm a vampire… they're would be no other choice. But that doesn't matter because Charlie would have said I sounded the same right? So he knows I'm still human…or did Charlie say I sounded different? that maybe because I'm older my voice changed? _No. I sound the same right? Don't I?_

I hurried down the stairs to the living room. "Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"When Jacob asked …what did you say back?" I asked, biting my lip.

"I said 'I don't know'"

"Why did you say that? WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT I SOUNDED THE SAME?" I shouted angrily. My voice was not different.

He turned around, scrutinizing my face, wondering why my sudden outbreak of anger.

"Um, well, it was kind of an odd question, and I was drunk…" he said embarrassed.

"Thanks a lot Dad!" I said annoyed.

"Sorry Bells…didn't know you cared so much… about your voice"

Than I wondered… "Hey dad, where's my old truck?"

He blinked before he answered. Probably trying to keep up with my sudden mood swings.

"Uhh, it's out in the garage"

"Okay, good" I said relieved. At least I didn't have to use my dads cab.

"Why?"

"I want to go out for a ride, you know, explore Forks…"

"_And La Push…" _said that stupid nagging part of my brain again. I really had to go to therapy.

"Are you going now?" Charlie asked.

"No. Later. I'm going to go get ready"

"Kay" he replied.

I looked in the mirror in the living room. I looked spent so I went upstairs to the washroom and splashed my face with water. It felt so good that I started putting water on my arms and neck so I just gave up and took a shower.

I found my favorite pair of dark flair jeans in my messy suitcase and a beige sleeveless top that had a pattern of sequins and dark beige sandals. I blow dried my hair and let it down. _Alice would be proud. _I thought. I grabbed the keys to my old truck from the handle in the kitchen and was about to head out when Charlie interrupted me.

"Heading out now?"

"Um, yeah just going to see some old friends, you know, Angela, Jessica, Mike…"

"Right, well, have fun"

"Thanks" I muttered.

I knew that he knew where I was going and he would find about it sooner or later from Billy but I didn't want to be the one to tell him. Again, I was acting like a coward.

I started feeling nervous as I ran to my old car. _…What will he think when he see's me? Maybe I should just call him… _No, I wasn't going to act like a coward again. I sped way too fast out of the garage before I could change my mind.


End file.
